Words Must Mean Something, otherwise....
January 16, 1958 I was 5 years old and my brother was 3 years old.
Our first day: Our new clothes, which we had been wearing for our appearance in Court, were taken from us and we were give older and rougher looking clothes to wear. We were taken to the Playhall by a nun. There seemed to be hundreds of boys in the Playhall and some of them cast curious glances at us and some said hello. I kept a firm grip on Charles hand and went to sit on a bench.
Some time later a nun, dressed all in white, came into the Playhall carrying a bell. She began to ring the bell and all the boys formed into rows. Myself and Charles remained sitting on the bench and she shouted something at us. Remember I was five years old and Charles was only 3 years. I was confused as to where to go and what to do and so I didn’t move. She came towards us, grabbed Charles by the hair and started to pull him towards the rows of boys. I charged at the nun trying to pull her hand away from Charles hair. She belted me with the bell and I went crashing into a radiator. Naturally we were both bawling as she dragged and half carried us into the rows. This was our first couple of hours with the Sisters of Charity.
ALLEGATION 1 DENIED BY sisters of charity
Throughout my time in St. Patrick’s the violence from some of the nuns was arbitrary. I can’t remember a formal punishment system where you were taken to receive a lecture and or your punishment. Some of the nuns had idiosyncratic ways of hurting you.
ALLEGATION 2 DENIED BY sisters of charity
One nun used to make us stand in line against the wall with our shirts off while she marched up and down with a cane. Expecting a lashing from her boys tended to stand erect. This meant that your bare back touched the cold wall. This in turn made you jump away from the wall and if you did that you received a lashing.
ALLEGATION 3 DENIED BY sisters of charity
Another nun carried a big bunch of keys with her and on numerous occasions she would hit you on the knuckles with them for no other reason than you happened to be near her.
ALLEGATION 4 DENIED BY sisters of charity
One nun who had a bedroom in one of the dormitories used to make us stand against the wall and take our trousers down while she inspected our underwear. If they were soiled she would take us into her bedroom and lay us across her bed where she would hit us on the bare bottom with a cane. My first rebellion happened after one of these incidents. After I was caned I kicked the wall of her room as I was leaving. She chased me and gave me a worse beating.
ALLEGATION 5 DENIED BY sisters of charity
One time in my early days in St. Patrick’s a Bishop came to the school and all of us were kneeling in the Playhall as he entered. He sprinkled holy water down on us and went on his way. I remained on the ground as I had seen where some of the holy water had fallen. I went towards it and touched it. The nun noticed what I was doing and lay into me. She slapped me and shook me. She proceeded to tell me that I would go straight to hell for my sacrilege.
ALLEGATION 6 DENIED BY sisters of charity
As part of a dare one evening I ran from the toilets in my dormitory to my bed with my night-shirt pulled up. I was caught by a nun and given a severe beating. Next morning I was paraded in front of all the boys in the Playhall and condemned by the nun as a dirty devil. This kind of public humiliation was not a rare event in St. Patrick’s and I was not unique in being singled out, it happened to numerous other boys.
ALLEGATION 7 DENIED BY sisters of charity
One day I was in the wash house and I was very cold. I was warming my hands at a stove/furnace when a nun, I think it was the nun who used to hit us on the knuckles with her bunch of keys, put my wrists together and shoved my hand into the metal opening of the stove. The backs of my hands were badly burned and I spent sometime in bed sick. . I wasn’t sent to hospital with this injury instead a doctor came in every evening and injected me with a needle.
ALLEGATION 8 DENIED BY sisters of charity
Once when I was in the Playground/Parade I had dirtied my knees from kneeling in the grass and knowing I would be beaten for this I ran towards the toilets to wash them. But I was seen by the nun and she walloped my legs and knees with a hurley stick. The injury to my left knee was very severe and I spent several weeks in bed where I had to teach another boy Mass Latin. This boy had his leg in plaster.
ALLEGATION 9 DENIED BY sisters of charity
They were very strict when it came to religion. When we were practising for our first confession and first communion I said to the priest in the confessional “ I told lies, I was disobedient, I was talking in church, I committed adultery…”, within moments the priest had pulled me out of the confessional and clattered me around the church.
ALLEGATION 10 DENIED BY sisters of charity
As part of the routine in St. Patrick’s we had to say a rosary before we went to bed, we had to say the angelus every day at 6 o’clock, we had prayers before classes, after classes, before meals, after meals etc. If you talked in the chapel, or smiled, or whispered, or picked your nose you were beaten. One phase I went through in chapel was that I used to peel the skin off the palm of my hand and eat it. This happened after my hands had been burned.
ALLEGATION 11 DENIED BY sisters of charity
The food in St. Patrick’s as far as I can remember was a bit weird. Our main food for dinner was a greenish mash, (maybe it was parsley and potatoes?), no meat or other vegetables. Although every Friday we did get fish. The only meat I remember eating in St. Patrick’s was after funerals when someone died; just mince meat – no potatoes or other vegetables!! Not that there was a lack of food there. I was caught eating a bun once and I was taken into the kitchen and forced to eat raw carrot and drink salty water until I vomited. The best food that we had there was cocoa and bread with dripping – taste wise. My memories are of constant hunger though. I was always cold and my nose always ran. I remember I had worms for most of the time I was in St. Patrick’s.
ALLEGATION 12 DENIED BY sisters of charity
To try to put this in perspective – The nuns that came into day-to-day contact with us were the most likely to hurt us. And although I didn’t like the day-to-day contact with some of these nuns mainly because I was likely to be punished for something or other I absolutely HATED John Broderick for taking my comic – I didn’t like Sister Lelia for the way she mocked the injuries to my hands but I HATED James Duffy for reporting that I’d wet the bed when I had the ‘flu. I came to accept the violence from the nuns but I could never accept being put upon by my peers.
Twice I got out of the Industrial School for a holiday with other people. I think it was in the year of 1959/60. I was sent to live with a family in Blackrock, Dublin – a Mr. and Mrs. Windass at Christmas time. Mrs. Windass had just given birth to a baby son, Christopher. I stayed with her for about two weeks over the Christmas period. I wanted to write to them and the nuns had their address but because I was left-handed and my hands were still suffering the effects (and still are) of the burning they wouldn’t let me write. If you were left handed you were forced to write with your right hand AND if your handwriting was untidy or illegible you were beaten. But I have never forgotten Mr. and Mrs. Windass.
ALLEGATION 13 DENIED BY sisters of charity
One summer I was also sent to live with a family in Wexford town – a Mr. And Mrs. Eddie Hall. I believe he owned a public house. They treated me really well and made me feel I belonged. They had a holiday cottage in Rosslare and I spent some time there as well. I still think of these people – the Windasses and the Halls. I think these holidays were linked to the injuries I received. Though I was constantly reminded by the nuns that I was an orphan and that people were giving me charity.
Humiliation was the order of the day in this place. Because of the injuries to my hands and knees and the pain I was called a ‘notice-box’ as I was forever either rubbing my hands or walking with a funny gait. I had constant stomach aches too—but as time went on and no notice was (apparently) taken of my situation I learned to suffer in silence. But all the time since my injuries in St. Patrick’s I was left out of certain events. Most years all the boys were taken out to attend a Christmas party but I was the only one left in the school where I was put to scrubbing the toilet bowls. When visitors came to the school I was kept out of the way. I can guess now that they were hiding me from scrutiny as my hands looked livid and my knee looked very badly scarred.
My last six months in St. Patrick’s were spent working on the farm attached to the school. I don’t believe I received any beatings in this period. When it was time for me to leave (I was ten years old) I was given new clothes and scrubbed unmercifully. Two Rosminians came to collect myself and two other boys – Kieran Delaney and Thomas McMahon and drive us to St. Joseph’s Industrial School, Ferryhouse in Clonmel.
ALL of these allegations were denied long before the Commission came into being. And all of the above alegations are taken from a much longer Statement, written between 1982 and 1999, entitled A Brief History Of My Time In Care. Of course the Commission wants the whole story .... the Good, The Bad & The Ugly and all the above are mostly to do with the Bad or Ugly side of Institutional Care in Ireland in the 50's and 60's
Anyway at the Hearing the Sisters of Charity were represented by legally also the head nun of the Order was present and sat her legal team, the commission had it's own solicitor and Barrister as well and I had my solicitor, my Barrister, the Truth and some scars - invisible and visible. Judge Ryan was there too .... with two other Judges (at least I think they were Judges as they sat at the same table with him and everyone rose when they came into the room.
Also just before the Hearing began .... the nuns handed over a HUGE FOLDER with MEDICAL RECORDS in them ...... whether anything is in these records relating to my injuries/assaults remains to be seen as myself, my barrister and solicitor could only glance through them ..... they are difficult to read somewhat as they are all hand written ..... but at least we have medical records.
There was a battery of microphones on every table also speakers dotted around the place .... good sound sytem indeed.
I was sworn in. The questioning was very intense. My solicitor had promised if they thought I was being brow-beaten or bullied they would come to my rescue but, as it happens, they never had to. The Commissions legal team did come in with loads of questions ... very searching, very thorough questions, so did my team and after each question(s) on the Specific Allegations the Judge invited the Sisters of Charity's team if they had any question for me and EACH TIME THEY DECLINED TO ASK ME A QUESTION...... So Judge Ryan and the other two Judges got "dug" into me .... but I didn't budge from my statements .....
Other questions were asked too as to my impressions of how the school was run, the food, the clothes and all that and I answered those as best I can ..... the Judges, particularly Ryan, were very shocked at the story of how my hands were burnt and they asked me a lot of questions relating to that .... one Judge (not Ryan) asked me if I was a "particularly bold child"?????
I must say that I was also able to talk about the happy times in St. Patrick's - and there were many, about the nuns who tried their best, about the good memories I have of most of the nuns - and by most I mean 95% of the nuns ...... and about what I know of the family situation that made the authorities intervene and put us into St. Patrick's. I talked about the nuns I adored, about the outside contacts they brought into my life who were of positive benefit to me in later life - - - basically having outside contacts kept me sane!.
Basically I didn't go in there describing A hellish place .... hellish things happened and happened a lot ......... I believe I gave as full a description as my memories allowed.
When the Hearing was over and my legal team were de-briefing me they praised me for sticking to my guns. During this de-briefing a staff member of the Commission came in and gave a note to my solicitor. The head Charity nun wanted to talk to me privately .... I agreed to meet her.
She is around my age. The conversation was private but if she said the same in public then it would allow many people to begin to heal.
Yet ...... yet........
Yet, all the allegations I made were DENIED IN WRITING, basically they were all dismissed with a wave of the hand; And the LEGAL LETTER dismissing my WHOLE STATEMENT is full of LEGAL LANGUAGE
.... with words like traversed seriatiem
.... and in the LEGAL LETTER they demand that I appear at the Commission with medical documents, psychiatric reports, witness statements etc.,
THEY WERE DENYING EVERY SINGLE THING IN MY STATEMENT
..... heck they even state that no child was even slapped by a nun in Kilkenny
..... and when I was on the stand, having being sworn in, giving my story, the legal team of the order DID NOT ASK ME ONE SINGLE QUESTION.
Yet in a private conversation ... Words must mean something .....otherwise they become meaningless.
Our first day: Our new clothes, which we had been wearing for our appearance in Court, were taken from us and we were give older and rougher looking clothes to wear. We were taken to the Playhall by a nun. There seemed to be hundreds of boys in the Playhall and some of them cast curious glances at us and some said hello. I kept a firm grip on Charles hand and went to sit on a bench.
Some time later a nun, dressed all in white, came into the Playhall carrying a bell. She began to ring the bell and all the boys formed into rows. Myself and Charles remained sitting on the bench and she shouted something at us. Remember I was five years old and Charles was only 3 years. I was confused as to where to go and what to do and so I didn’t move. She came towards us, grabbed Charles by the hair and started to pull him towards the rows of boys. I charged at the nun trying to pull her hand away from Charles hair. She belted me with the bell and I went crashing into a radiator. Naturally we were both bawling as she dragged and half carried us into the rows. This was our first couple of hours with the Sisters of Charity.
ALLEGATION 1 DENIED BY sisters of charity
Throughout my time in St. Patrick’s the violence from some of the nuns was arbitrary. I can’t remember a formal punishment system where you were taken to receive a lecture and or your punishment. Some of the nuns had idiosyncratic ways of hurting you.
ALLEGATION 2 DENIED BY sisters of charity
One nun used to make us stand in line against the wall with our shirts off while she marched up and down with a cane. Expecting a lashing from her boys tended to stand erect. This meant that your bare back touched the cold wall. This in turn made you jump away from the wall and if you did that you received a lashing.
ALLEGATION 3 DENIED BY sisters of charity
Another nun carried a big bunch of keys with her and on numerous occasions she would hit you on the knuckles with them for no other reason than you happened to be near her.
ALLEGATION 4 DENIED BY sisters of charity
One nun who had a bedroom in one of the dormitories used to make us stand against the wall and take our trousers down while she inspected our underwear. If they were soiled she would take us into her bedroom and lay us across her bed where she would hit us on the bare bottom with a cane. My first rebellion happened after one of these incidents. After I was caned I kicked the wall of her room as I was leaving. She chased me and gave me a worse beating.
ALLEGATION 5 DENIED BY sisters of charity
One time in my early days in St. Patrick’s a Bishop came to the school and all of us were kneeling in the Playhall as he entered. He sprinkled holy water down on us and went on his way. I remained on the ground as I had seen where some of the holy water had fallen. I went towards it and touched it. The nun noticed what I was doing and lay into me. She slapped me and shook me. She proceeded to tell me that I would go straight to hell for my sacrilege.
ALLEGATION 6 DENIED BY sisters of charity
As part of a dare one evening I ran from the toilets in my dormitory to my bed with my night-shirt pulled up. I was caught by a nun and given a severe beating. Next morning I was paraded in front of all the boys in the Playhall and condemned by the nun as a dirty devil. This kind of public humiliation was not a rare event in St. Patrick’s and I was not unique in being singled out, it happened to numerous other boys.
ALLEGATION 7 DENIED BY sisters of charity
One day I was in the wash house and I was very cold. I was warming my hands at a stove/furnace when a nun, I think it was the nun who used to hit us on the knuckles with her bunch of keys, put my wrists together and shoved my hand into the metal opening of the stove. The backs of my hands were badly burned and I spent sometime in bed sick. . I wasn’t sent to hospital with this injury instead a doctor came in every evening and injected me with a needle.
ALLEGATION 8 DENIED BY sisters of charity
Once when I was in the Playground/Parade I had dirtied my knees from kneeling in the grass and knowing I would be beaten for this I ran towards the toilets to wash them. But I was seen by the nun and she walloped my legs and knees with a hurley stick. The injury to my left knee was very severe and I spent several weeks in bed where I had to teach another boy Mass Latin. This boy had his leg in plaster.
ALLEGATION 9 DENIED BY sisters of charity
They were very strict when it came to religion. When we were practising for our first confession and first communion I said to the priest in the confessional “ I told lies, I was disobedient, I was talking in church, I committed adultery…”, within moments the priest had pulled me out of the confessional and clattered me around the church.
ALLEGATION 10 DENIED BY sisters of charity
As part of the routine in St. Patrick’s we had to say a rosary before we went to bed, we had to say the angelus every day at 6 o’clock, we had prayers before classes, after classes, before meals, after meals etc. If you talked in the chapel, or smiled, or whispered, or picked your nose you were beaten. One phase I went through in chapel was that I used to peel the skin off the palm of my hand and eat it. This happened after my hands had been burned.
ALLEGATION 11 DENIED BY sisters of charity
The food in St. Patrick’s as far as I can remember was a bit weird. Our main food for dinner was a greenish mash, (maybe it was parsley and potatoes?), no meat or other vegetables. Although every Friday we did get fish. The only meat I remember eating in St. Patrick’s was after funerals when someone died; just mince meat – no potatoes or other vegetables!! Not that there was a lack of food there. I was caught eating a bun once and I was taken into the kitchen and forced to eat raw carrot and drink salty water until I vomited. The best food that we had there was cocoa and bread with dripping – taste wise. My memories are of constant hunger though. I was always cold and my nose always ran. I remember I had worms for most of the time I was in St. Patrick’s.
ALLEGATION 12 DENIED BY sisters of charity
To try to put this in perspective – The nuns that came into day-to-day contact with us were the most likely to hurt us. And although I didn’t like the day-to-day contact with some of these nuns mainly because I was likely to be punished for something or other I absolutely HATED John Broderick for taking my comic – I didn’t like Sister Lelia for the way she mocked the injuries to my hands but I HATED James Duffy for reporting that I’d wet the bed when I had the ‘flu. I came to accept the violence from the nuns but I could never accept being put upon by my peers.
Twice I got out of the Industrial School for a holiday with other people. I think it was in the year of 1959/60. I was sent to live with a family in Blackrock, Dublin – a Mr. and Mrs. Windass at Christmas time. Mrs. Windass had just given birth to a baby son, Christopher. I stayed with her for about two weeks over the Christmas period. I wanted to write to them and the nuns had their address but because I was left-handed and my hands were still suffering the effects (and still are) of the burning they wouldn’t let me write. If you were left handed you were forced to write with your right hand AND if your handwriting was untidy or illegible you were beaten. But I have never forgotten Mr. and Mrs. Windass.
ALLEGATION 13 DENIED BY sisters of charity
One summer I was also sent to live with a family in Wexford town – a Mr. And Mrs. Eddie Hall. I believe he owned a public house. They treated me really well and made me feel I belonged. They had a holiday cottage in Rosslare and I spent some time there as well. I still think of these people – the Windasses and the Halls. I think these holidays were linked to the injuries I received. Though I was constantly reminded by the nuns that I was an orphan and that people were giving me charity.
Humiliation was the order of the day in this place. Because of the injuries to my hands and knees and the pain I was called a ‘notice-box’ as I was forever either rubbing my hands or walking with a funny gait. I had constant stomach aches too—but as time went on and no notice was (apparently) taken of my situation I learned to suffer in silence. But all the time since my injuries in St. Patrick’s I was left out of certain events. Most years all the boys were taken out to attend a Christmas party but I was the only one left in the school where I was put to scrubbing the toilet bowls. When visitors came to the school I was kept out of the way. I can guess now that they were hiding me from scrutiny as my hands looked livid and my knee looked very badly scarred.
My last six months in St. Patrick’s were spent working on the farm attached to the school. I don’t believe I received any beatings in this period. When it was time for me to leave (I was ten years old) I was given new clothes and scrubbed unmercifully. Two Rosminians came to collect myself and two other boys – Kieran Delaney and Thomas McMahon and drive us to St. Joseph’s Industrial School, Ferryhouse in Clonmel.
ALL of these allegations were denied long before the Commission came into being. And all of the above alegations are taken from a much longer Statement, written between 1982 and 1999, entitled A Brief History Of My Time In Care. Of course the Commission wants the whole story .... the Good, The Bad & The Ugly and all the above are mostly to do with the Bad or Ugly side of Institutional Care in Ireland in the 50's and 60's
Anyway at the Hearing the Sisters of Charity were represented by legally also the head nun of the Order was present and sat her legal team, the commission had it's own solicitor and Barrister as well and I had my solicitor, my Barrister, the Truth and some scars - invisible and visible. Judge Ryan was there too .... with two other Judges (at least I think they were Judges as they sat at the same table with him and everyone rose when they came into the room.
Also just before the Hearing began .... the nuns handed over a HUGE FOLDER with MEDICAL RECORDS in them ...... whether anything is in these records relating to my injuries/assaults remains to be seen as myself, my barrister and solicitor could only glance through them ..... they are difficult to read somewhat as they are all hand written ..... but at least we have medical records.
There was a battery of microphones on every table also speakers dotted around the place .... good sound sytem indeed.
I was sworn in. The questioning was very intense. My solicitor had promised if they thought I was being brow-beaten or bullied they would come to my rescue but, as it happens, they never had to. The Commissions legal team did come in with loads of questions ... very searching, very thorough questions, so did my team and after each question(s) on the Specific Allegations the Judge invited the Sisters of Charity's team if they had any question for me and EACH TIME THEY DECLINED TO ASK ME A QUESTION...... So Judge Ryan and the other two Judges got "dug" into me .... but I didn't budge from my statements .....
Other questions were asked too as to my impressions of how the school was run, the food, the clothes and all that and I answered those as best I can ..... the Judges, particularly Ryan, were very shocked at the story of how my hands were burnt and they asked me a lot of questions relating to that .... one Judge (not Ryan) asked me if I was a "particularly bold child"?????
I must say that I was also able to talk about the happy times in St. Patrick's - and there were many, about the nuns who tried their best, about the good memories I have of most of the nuns - and by most I mean 95% of the nuns ...... and about what I know of the family situation that made the authorities intervene and put us into St. Patrick's. I talked about the nuns I adored, about the outside contacts they brought into my life who were of positive benefit to me in later life - - - basically having outside contacts kept me sane!.
Basically I didn't go in there describing A hellish place .... hellish things happened and happened a lot ......... I believe I gave as full a description as my memories allowed.
When the Hearing was over and my legal team were de-briefing me they praised me for sticking to my guns. During this de-briefing a staff member of the Commission came in and gave a note to my solicitor. The head Charity nun wanted to talk to me privately .... I agreed to meet her.
She is around my age. The conversation was private but if she said the same in public then it would allow many people to begin to heal.
Yet ...... yet........
Yet, all the allegations I made were DENIED IN WRITING, basically they were all dismissed with a wave of the hand; And the LEGAL LETTER dismissing my WHOLE STATEMENT is full of LEGAL LANGUAGE
.... with words like traversed seriatiem
.... and in the LEGAL LETTER they demand that I appear at the Commission with medical documents, psychiatric reports, witness statements etc.,
THEY WERE DENYING EVERY SINGLE THING IN MY STATEMENT
..... heck they even state that no child was even slapped by a nun in Kilkenny
..... and when I was on the stand, having being sworn in, giving my story, the legal team of the order DID NOT ASK ME ONE SINGLE QUESTION.
Yet in a private conversation ... Words must mean something .....otherwise they become meaningless.
posted by The Knitter at 3:54 AM
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